You'll Never Know

You are beautiful to me in a way you'll never comprehend.
The sound of your heartbeat; so close I can hear your existence.
The warmth of your body brings a sense of calmness to my soul;
setting my heart aglow.

Your heart, deeply wounded, from a love to bright for my eyes.
I can't give you what your heart desires and this causes me grief.
Secretly and silently, I love you.
I want to stay and love you; forever.

I will on my own and you'll never know. 

Gravitas

"Definitions bring about meaning and descriptions. Words exist for communication. " I remind myself of this daily. I am struggling to exist. My attempts to not be a recluse fail daily. This is my last resort. I have found the meaning to gravitas. Somehow, that word means everything to me right now. I have spent the last 3 weeks researching what it would take for me to be serious about the next level of my beloved existence. Writing it out...all of it..seems to be the right  answer, for now. I feel pretty great, because this is a huge step for me. I will be great at this. Breathe. I am an intelligent being. I will be great.

Closer

Closer. Closer.
Inching closer to that goal.
Day 3...a promise...it's meant for me.

I just can't stop..and won't even think about quitting.
I can taste the sweetness of success.

Closer. Closer.